So before I get into the swing of this one, I want to clarify a few points.
- I am a 50 year old woman, I have been around a bit, and I have seen things.
- I am a feminist because I believe women should have the same rights as men.
- I am exhausted…
So are we ready?
The title of this reads like some heavyweight boxing match, right? Well, that’s how I see it in my head. For years we have been trying to get equality as women; we even have a political party called WEP (Women’s Equality Party) in the UK.
What does that tell you? It tells me that we are not there yet. Not by a long shot.
But what worries me more is the increasing rhetoric from both sides which, to me, feels like it’s inflaming the situation even more. The radical feminists are getting increasingly pissed off. That fuels the Misogynistic argument even more, and round in circles, we go.
You all know what I am talking about, so I will not go into great details about the current actors; other than saying we’re potentially creating monsters, and they’re not just going to live under the bed. You just need to check out the news and socials to see what I mean.
The problem with all this is it’s happening around the men we’re raising now.
Not that they ARE the problem, they HAVE to contend with the problem. A tiny minority of them seem to think that women are here for their pleasure only. Then we have a more significant majority who are being tarred with the brush of being a rapist, misogynist, and god only knows what else when really they’re some of the kindest guys out there.
How does that all bode for the future of women? Not good, I’ll tell you.
Because when it comes to getting equality or even equity, we need them to be on our side too. Whilst the patriarchy is still in charge of things, and they are, we need all the help we can get. And no, I am not talking about rolling over and playing dead, whore, mother or whatever. I am talking about having a sensible conversation that doesn’t end up in a Twitter spat or whatever the kids do these days.
If we cannot have an adult (in the Transactional Analysis sense of the word) conversation with the men, then what hope do we have?
I am sure there will be some eye-rolling from my fellow women, particularly the younger ones still full of fire. Well, before you cast me out as some sort of heretic, I’ve been there. I’ve got several T-shirts and fought this since I was 17 at college. Fighting, in the literal sense, doesn’t work. All it does is arses people off and create the larger-than-life personalities we see now.
The more you poke the beast, the more ferocious it gets.
I know so many women who are raising wonderful sons. I know tonnes of men who are not in the least bit misogynistic, who are all able to have conversations about what is needed. But their voices are being drowned out. The media does not help in all this. They give air time to the ones who shout the loudest but then are not prepared for the actions and reactions that follow.
Not only is this true for the feminist agenda, but it’s the same for others, such as the Trans, LGBT and countless other marginalised communities.
All these conversations can be incredibly divisive and always have been, but we need to change.
So how about we try something else?
I am not saying you cannot hold your beliefs on these subjects. What I am saying is that until we can come together and talk about this in a way that acknowledges everyone’s feelings and concerns, and fears, we’re still going to be talking about this in another 30 years’ time. No one wants that. Least of all me.
As a woman who has worked in the tech industry all my adult life, I know only too well that the biases still exist. I have been ignored because of my gender, so I know how much this hurts, and believe me, it hurts like hell!
Not Middle Aged 